Egotistic Terrorist
by Love Is BeastN
Summary: Miyagi doesn't tell Shinobu he's moving. What will happen when the dramatic boy finds out? MiyagiXShinobu. One-shot. Mild self-mutilation. You've been warned.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Egotistic Terrorist**

Shinobu skipped happily down the halls of Mitstuhashi University, carrying a lunchbox stocked with goodies and cabbage. He smiled slightly when he saw the door to his lover's office came in view. His heart skipped and belly flipped.

"Hey, Miyagi. How about we go on a picnic when you get... off..." he trailed away. The room was half empty and boxes lined the walls. Miyagi was placing things from his desk into a smaller box when he looked up at Shinobu. "Um. what's this?" the blond asked.

Miyagi looked up at him, startled. He bit his lip and shifted uncomfortably. He had planned something to say if in case he did see Shinobu if he had been caught packing, "Well, uh, you see, I got a letter a few weeks ago telling me that I had been transferred."

Shinobu was quiet for a moment, trying to process what was going on. Then he chose to play oblivious. "Where to?"

"Siebold University of Nagasaki."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh…" he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath. His mind went blank and he felt numb, not fully perceiving the meaning behind this. Then it hit him, so hard that he nearly fell to his knees and wept. He stood there, almost waiting for Miyagi to say something like he was just kidding, but it never came.

Miyagi watched to see how he reacted, fearful.

Trembling and his breathing coming fast, his ability to think slowly leaked back to him. Miyagi was leaving. Leaving him. Why hadn't he told him sooner? Was he even going to tell him? He felt his face grow hot and pressure building chest, nasty words weighing down his tongue. He swallowed the retorts and spun around.

The door to the office slammed open and Shinobu stormed out, furious. Miyagi came a few steps behind him.

"Shinobu-chin!" he called after the young boy. Just then the bell rang and a wave of college students swarmed the halls, blocking his path. He was trapped in the doorway, forced to watch as Shinobu skillfully weaved his way through the ocean of students. He let out a resigned sigh and leaned against the door frame.

When the hallways cleared, Miyagi followed his enraged lover. Though he feared he had already left, he glanced into every room anyway.

Outside the closed door to the chairman's office he paused. Maybe. He reached for the knob and went in.

Sure enough, there was Shinobu. He was alone in his dad's office, sitting with his arms crossed defiantly over his chest.

"Shinobu," Miyagi started.

"Why didn't you tell me you were moving?" he burst out.

Miyagi hung his head slightly, "I couldn't. I didn't have the heart to."

Shinobu growled, "Isn't your job here good enough? Aren't _I_ good enough for you to stay here?"

"I'm sorry..." Miyagi whispered. Of course, the brat was a good enough reason for him to stay, but the move wasn't his choice. The Board of Education had transferred to a college on the other side of Japan. The pay was better, nearly double of what he was currently making, and they'd offered to pay the full expense of the move _and _his lodgings. How could he refuse? How could anyone refuse?

He looked at Shinobu, his blue-grey orbs were seared in emotion: anger, sadness, disbelief, betrayal.

That's how.

Shinobu was the main reason he had refused to leave, but they had raised their offer and it was either transfer or not have a job. Miyagi took a few steps toward him, a hand extended to touch the boy's cheek.

But Shinobu jumped up and put the desk's bulk between them, "I don't want to hear it."

Miyagi stared across the desk into Shinobu's wild eyes, pacing around the wooden obstacle. "You're more than enough to keep me here, kid. But this is out of our control." Miyagi was now standing over him.

Shinobu looked up at the man and his face went red, all the way up to his ears, in a furious blush, "There you go again, calling me a kid! I'm legally an adult."

"Yeah, yeah. Not by my standards."

Shinobu attempted to walk away but found himself trapped between the desk and Miyagi's body. "What the hell? Get off of me, you bastard!" he grumbled in spite of himself.

Miyagi grabbed Shinobu's wrist and bent him backwards over the chairman's desk, pinning his hand above the boy's head.

Surprised by Miyagi's sudden ambitions, Shinobu placed a fist on the older man's chest in a weak effort to push him away. It did not faze him, he was dead set on not telling, but showing this boy what he meant to him. Their lips met a moment later.

Shinobu's struggle didn't last for long, for he, too, was going all out, forgetting the anger he had grasped just moments before. He reached up and pulled Miyagi deeper into a fiery kiss. Their lips moved in perfect harmony, as if they were made to fit together. Tongues danced in a sweet ballet of emotions.

The door suddenly opened and the Chairman of M. University came in, but he quickly stepped out and closed the door behind him. Leaning against the wall next to the door, he covered his mouth with his hand.

It was hard to think at that moment, after he saw what he did. One of his professors was kissing his son, on his desk. His son was not even resisting the man.

_Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay!_

Caught in the heat of the moment, Miyagi and Shinobu did not notice their momentary guest. Their hearts beat like thunder and thoughts blurred.

Miyagi pulled away from the kiss, his eyes lingering further on Shinobu's face.

Suddenly remembering the place and the time, Miyagi said, "I have a meeting to get to. We'll talk about this later."

Shinobu flushed, embarrassed for having been side-tracked. "What the fuck?" he objected.

Miyagi exited the office swiftly, Shinobu came steaming behind him; neither noticed the shocked chairman standing there, watching them go in silent astonishment.

Takastuki, chairman of Mitstuhashi University, Shinobu's father, didn't know if he should be mad, horrified, or disgusted by his son's behavior.

. . .

Miyagi had asked Shinobu to come over at this time, but the young boy still sat alone in his own apartment. Shinobu was angry at his lover and didn't feel like seeing him. As he passed a side table he stopped and glanced at the picture of himself and Miyagi standing side-by-side, Miyagi's arm slung carelessly over the blonde's shoulders. Eyes narrowing, he flipped the frame over with a quick flick of the wrist.

_—Buzzz!—_

Shinobu ignored the doorbell, it was probably Miyagi and he was not in the mood.

It rang again. _Persistent. _After a few more rings, Shinobu gave in with a frustrated hiss and went to answer the door. He jerked it open. "What?" he yelled before he could stop himself. On the contrary to his previous thoughts, it was not his lover that stood before him, it was Shinobu's dad.

They both stared at each other in shock, then Shinobu corrected himself, "Oh, gomenisai. Uh, come in." He stepped to one side.

The chairman nodded and came in.

"So. Dad, why are you here?" Shinobu asked warily.

"Yeah, about that," he replied, wishing he thought over exactly _how _he was going to ask his son if he was _gay._ He took a deep breath to gain his confidence, but noticed something else, "Is something burning?"

"Crap! The cabbage!" Shinobu recalled and dashed from the room.

Takastuki was grateful for the unexpected delay. He took this time to think over what he was going to say, but then he saw a picture frame laying on its face. He went over and picked it up, examining the image. It was Shinobu and Miyagi standing side-by-side like a couple, his son-in-law smirking and his son looking a bit agitated, but his cheeks were tinged in a cute shade of red. Takastuki knew that he shouldn't have been surprised by this photo, yet he couldn't suppress a soft hiss as he drew in his breath and a tightening of his stomach.

This snapshot only proved his suspicions right. There was no denying it now. There was not a doubt in his mind that Shinobu and Miyagi were... _going together. _He had to force himself to even think those words.

With the cabbage crisis solved, and in no real hurry to speak to his father, Shinobu wandered slowing into the living room. He vaguely wondered why his dad was here, but Miyagi's betrayal dominated his thoughts at the moment.

"What's this?" Takastuki asked.

Shinobu looked to see that his father held the photo he'd shunned earlier. Alarmed, he ran over and snatched it out of his hands. "Nothing!"

"Shinobu. You and Miyagi...?"

"Tea?" he sputtered, trying to divert the subject.

He ignored him, "Are you two...?"

Shinobu decided to play dumb. He tilted his head to one side and put on an innocent expression.

Takastuki sighed, he'd have to come right out and say it, "Um. Are you and Miyagi... _gay?"_

"Of course not! Haha! That's crazy," Shinobu laughed, breaking into a cold sweat.

"Son, don't lie to me. I saw you in my office..." he trailed off. He'd rather not say it.

_Crap! _"About that..."

Takastuki waited skeptically for what would either be an explanation or an excuse. He knew it already to be true, he just wanted him to tell it to his face.

Shinobu sighed and threw the picture frame down, "Yeah, Dad, you're right. But it doesn't matter anymore. He's moving." He wondered why he didn't want to see Miyagi earlier, for now he wanted nothing more than to escape his father's judgmental gaze in the older man's arms.

"Oh, yes. I am well aware of Miyagi-sensei's transfer," he recalled, relief apparent in his voice. Shinobu dipped his head to hide his coming tears. Takastuki saw his son's reaction. He was split, did Shinobu really care so much for this man? _But that's sick, unacceptable, _Takastuki thought, more to convince himself. For a fleeting moment he considered letting them go on as they were. No, his son's wellbeing came first. "Break up with him before he leaves. Trust me, you'll both be better off."

There was a pause. "No."

"What?"

"No," he repeated with growing confidence. "I won't. You can't control me now."

"Shinobu," he started to object, his anger flaring.

"Get out."

Takastuki made no move toward the door. With seething frustration, Shinobu grabbed his keys and stomped out of his own apartment. Oh, how stupid his father was. Didn't he know of destiny?

He suddenly stopped with one hand on Miyagi's door knob. Or was _he _who did not know where his destiny lye? Were he and Miyagi really meant to be? Surely not if something like this_—_the transfer and his dad's interception_—_was trying to keep them apart. Then what was this feeling for the man, so strong and luring, if not love? If not destiny? He searched for a logical explanation, at least one that leaned in his favor, but could not find the answer he craved. It was all too clear, and how much he detested this contemptuous reality.

He turned and fled down a flight of stairs, not even bothering with the elevator, and collapsed on the second landing.

He needed some time to think. There had to be a way they could stay together. They were madly in love_—_That thought came to an abrupt halt. Miyagi, how did he feel about all this? If he really and truly loved Shinobu, would he not refuse the transfer, whatever the cost? Or at least offer his young lover to come with him? Thinking back on it, he hadn't even told him where he was going.

The rose-colored glasses Shinobu seemed to have been seeing through for so long slipped and he got his first glimpse of reality. His perfect delusion faded, sweeping his hopes away along with it.

Yes... it was all too clear, and how excruciating painful it was.

His father was right, he would have to break up with Miyagi, the man he had once thought was his destiny. Of course, it would never work. All the forces worked against them, maybe even Miyagi himself.

Shinobu decided that he had to cut off all ties to the man before he got too involved, but he feared that he was already was. At any moment, at the drop of a pen, he would drown in loss, in heartbreak. What could he do? He didn't want to force himself on him.

Wait. That's not right. Wasn't that what he did in the first place? Guilt swept over him, then he tried to refute it. If so, then why didn't Miyagi say anything? Why didn't he just push him away from the get-go?

Oh, yeah, he did.

Did he just give up and decided to put up with the little terrorist?

Another wave of guilt.

_Okay, then, _he thought. He'd do this for Miyagi no matter how much he might hurt himself in the process.

Shinobu tried to assure himself that he would get over it, though he could not imagine being happy without his lover. No_. Ex-lover._

He heaved himself to his feet and began up the stairs. When on his floor, he slid the key into Miyagi's door and went in. He found Miyagi pacing in front of the couch. Shinobu's stomach flipped relentlessly. When the anxious professor spotted his young lover, he ran over and hugged him. Shinobu accepted the embrace but did not return it. A dark corner of his mind whispered treachery of what was to come, yet a tiny flicker illuminated that malicious shadow for a split second. Maybe he was wrong. One glance around the box cluttered room quickly blew that spark of hope out, leaving him once again to face the inevitable.

"Miyagi?" he started after a long moment.

Miyagi saw that he was crying and guilt flooded his senses. Holding Shinobu at arms' length, he asked, though he feared the answer was already known to him, "What is it?"

Shinobu pulled away and averted his eyes. "Miyagi, this isn't going to work." He paused to let him process what he was saying.

"Shinobu," Miyagi whispered.

He still did not look at the man he loved. His heart felt like it was about to burst and he would choke on this conversation's result. But he wondered if he could do it. Could he really break up with him? He didn't think he was strong enough.

Unable to breath, he choked out, trying to put as much finality into his tone as he could muster, "It... It's over."

His words hit Miyagi like a blow to his face. The impact was so great he might as well be bleeding. But Shinobu didn't even lay a finger on him. Then Shinobu turned and ran from the apartment, he didn't want to have a breakdown in front of Miyagi.

Miyagi stood frozen to the spot in a mixture of shock and horror. He longed to run after the boy but his feet would not oblige.

Shinobu ran without thinking. He needed to get as far away as possible, somewhere where nobody could find him, possibly ever. Eventually, he found himself in an alleyway and slumped against a wall. His tears came without his calling on them and his heart felt like it had fallen into his stomach. He slid to the ground, trembling.

. . .

The lights of early dawn peeked over the horizon. Miyagi had been out searching for Shinobu all night and was just returning home. He heaved a heavy sigh and collapsed on the couch. His face fell into his hands, he would be leaving Tokyo this evening and if he didn't see Shinobu before he left he would never live it down.

He was just nodding off when there came a knock at the door. He jumped up, fully alert now, and ran to the door hopefully. _Is that Shinobu? Where did you go, Shinobu? Please be Shinobu. _He jerked the door open and his heart fell. It was only the movers. He stepped aside and let them in. As they began moving his stuff to the truck, Miyagi nearly collapsed out of exhaustion. The moving men told him to sit down and that they'd get the rest. Miyagi agreed and he sat against a wall, his head pounded dizzily and the room spun. His heart was racing from more than fatigue. Darkness enveloped him as he rested on the cold floor.

. . .

Shinobu didn't return home until late that evening when he was sure that Miyagi had already left. The first thing he did was run to the bathroom and bow to the toilet. He had cried himself sick. Having not eaten since yesterday, and with no aspects of it, empting his stomach left a far greater ache. The blond stood and ambled into the living room. Feeling weak in the knees, he sat where he was closed his eyes, trying to regain his ability to think straight.

Rising to his feet, he looked around, wondering what's next? He picked up the picture frame that held the image of Miyagi and himself. He stared at it nostalgically. Why did he let him go? Would he have been happier if he had been selfish and kept Miyagi to himself?

But it was too late now. He could never have it back. And what if he could? Would it be the same? Probably not.

He grew angry with himself. He'd let his only chances of love simply walk away. He threw the picture against the wall. A spray of glistening glass showered him. He wanted the end his sorrow, his regret, his lost soul. He grabbed a shard and, in his rage, brought it to his wrist.

He admired how easily the fragment cut into his skin so cleanly, again and again. Thick blood pulsed out, pooling fast on the floor. Stinging pain, like lighting, split his senses. He refrained from crying out in agony.

After a few minutes of savoring his own pain his rationale started coming back to him. He staggered over the sink and stuck his arm under the faucet, turning it on. The water stung the cuts and thinned the blood, which ran in a steady stream down the drain. But the bleeding wouldn't stop.

Shinobu panicked and grabbed for the phone, hitting the first speed-dial.

. . .

Miyagi sat on a low wooden bench on the train platform, his languor state overwhelming. He stared at the train tracks without seeing them. He wasn't able to find Shinobu. His heart ached and he wanted to cry.

Miyagi's phone rang. He reached into his pocket and looked at the screen, it flashed: _Shinobu. _His heart skipped and he quickly answered, "Hello? Shinobu-chin?"

The receiver was silent except for the sound of rapid breathing. "Mi-Miyagi..." a small voice panted, near crying. "I... I did something stupid. It won't stop bleeding."

Miyagi's eyes widened, "Where are you?"

"My place... Miyagi, I'm cold."

"Just hold on, I'll be there in a minute. Stop the bleeding, direct pressure," he directed, already in a dead run, pushing his way through the crowded train station.

"Hurry," Shinobu pleaded, but Miyagi needn't any more prompting. Within fifteen minutes he was barging through the door of Shinobu's apartment.

"Shinobu!" he called, looking around wildly for him.

"Over here," a weak voice called. Miyagi followed it to the kitchen.

The young blond was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinet. He was holding a bloody rag to his wrist, his clothes stained with blood. Miyagi knelt next to him a grabbed his arm, removing the cloth to examine the dizzy boy's work.

Shinobu, vision bleary, said faintly, "I'm sorry."

"Shh. It's okay," the older man soothed gruffly, slipping his hands under him. He took the boy to the couch.

He noticed the shattered and abused picture frame and frowned. He disappeared into the bathroom briefly before sitting on the coffee table next to him. He grabbed the pale boy's wrist and did what he could with first aid before he called the E.R. When he hung up an awkward silence ensued.

Shinobu struggled to stay awake and in a broken whisper, told Miyagi, "Listen, I didn't mean... I didn't want... I still l-lo_—" _he choked up and started crying.

Miyagi's gaze softened. He extended a hand to touch the boy's cheek but hesitated. "Brat, I love you, too," he sighed with a relieved smile, mussing his hair.

Shinobu paled further, if at all possible. For a fleeting moment he felt elated, but it was short lived.

"You're still moving, aren't you?" he asked.

Dim eyes provided his answer.

"Why didn't you at least ask me to come with you?"

"You didn't give me a chance," Miyagi pointed out, reflecting. "I was going to make it a surprise so that we could go off and live together like a real couple."

"Oops... sorry."

He laughed, "Now then. Do you want to come with me?"

"Of course," he said, trying to prop himself on his elbows.

Miyagi placed a hand on his forehead and pushed him back down. "Go to sleep."

"I'd rather be sleeping with you," the light-headed boy mumbled.

"There will be time for that later. Right now you need to rest," Miyagi said.

Shinobu pouted but did as he was told, contempt on being next to the man he loved and knowing that he could stay there forever.

. . .  
**  
**When the paramedics arrived, Miyagi explained to them what happened, conveniently forgetting _why_it happened, and helped the get the sleeping boy to the ambulance. He rode with then to the hospital and sat in the Waiting Room while they examined Shinobu.

One way or another, the boy's father was contacted. Takastuki nearly knocked over a homebound patient in his rush into the hospital. Almost immediately he spotted Miyagi standing there. Ignoring him for the moment, he talked to a nurse about his son's state. He then turned and stomped over to the professor.

"Mr. Takastuki," Miyagi said to him.

The chairman was in no mood for formalities, "You did this didn't you?"

Alarmed and quite confused, Miyagi asked, "What?"

"It's you. It's you that has Shinobu all worked up. It's your fault he hurt himself!" Takastuki was quick to accuse, his face turning a few shades short of a tomato all the way up to his ears.

Miyagi stared at his ex-father-in-law profoundly. "Now just hold on—"

"I don't want you anywhere near my son," the man ordered protectively.

_So he knows about us, _Miyagi thought with a slight melancholy. He wasn't too concerned, he was going to stay with Shinobu no matter what, but he wasn't going to put up with this man's shit-stuff. "I refuse."

"I can have you fired!" Takastuki threatened.

"I don't work for you anymore," Miyagi carelessly pointed out.

He just kept getting angrier. Takastuki was about to punch this arrogant professor when the nurse called, "Takastuki Shinobu is out of surgery." He gritted his teeth and calmed himself, then turned and headed for the big white double doors. Miyagi followed.

In Shinobu's room, the boy sat straight up in the bed. He looked irritated. When they entered the first thing he said was, "I hate hospitals. Why the hell did you bring me here." Miyagi grinned, he knew the arrogant little blond would be okay now. Shinobu looked at his dad and was even less enthused. "Oh great," he mumbled sarcastically, realizing how tired he was and leaning back on the inclined bed. He glared at his father with weary orbs.

Feeling more than a bit unnerved, Takastuki reasoned with himself: this was his son, after all, and he still loved him. "I'm glad you're okay," he said, disquieted.

Shinobu nodded once, waiting for the punch line. Takastuki was about the deliver it, but Shinobu jumped in first, "Dad, I know you care about me and that you want only what's best for me, but let me make my own decisions. Please. If you really want me to be happy you'll leave my life to me."

His father was taken aback by that speech. His prior feelings of understanding came back to him and his heart reached out to the boy even as he tried desperately to refute it.

"I love Miyagi. I'm going away with him and there's nothing you can do to stop me," declared with growing determination, getting a bit dizzy from using so much air to speak. He reached over and grabbed Miyagi's hand, the older man gripped it back.

Why was it now that he did not so much disagree with his son, Takastuki wondered. It was like he was seeing through Shinobu's eyes now; he saw how much these two men really loved each, proven by how far they would go to defend that love.

Finding some kind of twisted humor in it all, Takastuki chuckled slightly, "No, I suppose there isn't."

Now Miyagi and Shinobu were confused. Did they just win?

"Miyagi, you take good care of my Shinobu—you hear? Or else you'll be hearing a lot from me," he warned.

"Of course," Miyagi agreed.

A grin from Shinobu nearly took in his ears. "Oh thank-you!" he cheered.

"Yeah, yeah," Takastuki murmured. "I expect you to at least write to me after you leave, let me know how you're doing. If anything at all goes wrong don't hesitate to call."

Shinobu nodded eagerly, elated by his dad's approval. Now nothing could keep him and Miyagi apart.

. . .

"Miyagiii," Shinobu whined, cradled in the man's arms bridal style about a week later.

"Shinobu," he replied curtly.

"Put me down."

"No," he said, kicking the door to their new complex open. It was gigantic compared to their old apartments.

Shinobu's jaw dropped, "It's huge!"

"You can thank the Board for that," Miyagi snickered, thinking himself quite clever in taking full advantage of the Board's offer to cover his lodging.

"Wow."

Miyagi chuckled, "Now then, shall we break it in?" He winked. Shinobu's ensuing smile provided his answer and to the bedroom they went.

* * *

**I guess the part where Shinobu cuts himself is kinda cliché, but I don't really think it's that out of character. Remember, he's selfish and desperate for attention and willing to do anything to get it. I apoligize if you disliked that scene.**

**I want to thank my beta contravene431 for helping me with this. It's definitely two million times better than the original thanks to her! Thank-you! You should check out her stories and profile page, especially if your into Kyo Kara Maoh (which you should be, since it is a totally amazing anime!).**

**You know what's weird? I started this story just so I could use the line "Go home and run his mascara," but I didn't get the chance to use it. 0.o**

**Thanks for reading! Review please, even flames are welcome!**


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